stand by when you hear the five most dangerous things in the marine corps:
1.a private saying, "i learned this in basic training..."
2.a sergeant saying, "trust me, sir..."
3.a second lieutenant saying, "based on my experience..."
4.a captain saying, "i was just thinking..."
5.a sergeant major chuckling, "watch this s***..."
Friday, September 7, 2007
Haven't I seen you on TV
Haven't I seen you on TV
Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me?
Off.
Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me?
Off.
Mum, what is it the daddy has?
A small girl suddenly sees her father coming out from the bathroom, and asks
the mum:
- Mum, what is it the daddy has?
- Well, my girl, it is such daddy's thing... If he hasn't it you couldn't be
here, (... pause...), and me, perhaps, too.
the mum:
- Mum, what is it the daddy has?
- Well, my girl, it is such daddy's thing... If he hasn't it you couldn't be
here, (... pause...), and me, perhaps, too.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Married Couple
Husband:wht will u do if i die?
Wife:live wid ma sister.
Wife:wht will ya do if i die?
Husband:I will also live wid urz sister..
Wife:live wid ma sister.
Wife:wht will ya do if i die?
Husband:I will also live wid urz sister..
Radio
A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio
to u. MAN: Radio label shows Made in U.S.A but radio says
This is all Radio Japan!
to u. MAN: Radio label shows Made in U.S.A but radio says
This is all Radio Japan!
Engagement Ring
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our
Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure,
Give me ur Telephone No.
Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure,
Give me ur Telephone No.
Time Difference
Once sardar wanted to know the time difference between
Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department
and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between
Patna and Las Begas..." The man at the other end replies
"One second sir..." and sardar immediately replies "thank you"
and puts the phone down.
Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department
and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between
Patna and Las Begas..." The man at the other end replies
"One second sir..." and sardar immediately replies "thank you"
and puts the phone down.
Side Effects
why did sardar cut the sides of medicine before eating it ?
think think think to avoid sde EFFECTS.
think think think to avoid sde EFFECTS.
Teacher & Student
Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m.
Tcher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.
Tcher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.
Shake Hand
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 -
the fight begins !
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 -
the fight begins !
Husband Wife
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
Sardar 2
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.
Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.
Lovers
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first,
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
One-liner about business
Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.
I think I need a pair of glasses
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
Stupid people stories
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
Question and answer Christmas joke
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
A: Claustrophobic.
Wedding practical joke
Cigarette problems
At my cousin's wedding, my dad (who doesn't much care for his nephew's bride) thought it would be funny to flick his cigarette at her back as she walked down the aisle. It got caught in her hair and started to smolder. Her father had to get it out while she cried hysterically. Then he punched my Uncle Raymond, whom he thought had tossed it, right square in the forehead and ended up breaking his own hand. Good wedding.
At my cousin's wedding, my dad (who doesn't much care for his nephew's bride) thought it would be funny to flick his cigarette at her back as she walked down the aisle. It got caught in her hair and started to smolder. Her father had to get it out while she cried hysterically. Then he punched my Uncle Raymond, whom he thought had tossed it, right square in the forehead and ended up breaking his own hand. Good wedding.
Food one-liner
A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.
Filtering Calls
Description:
Hi. We can't come to the phone right now. If you are our children, we are out of money. If you are ..."File name: a008.zipFile size: 45.0KB
Data source: The Answering Machine, http://www.answeringmachine.co.uk/
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
Join M.U.N.S.A.
File description: Think that you're stupid? Really stupid? Join MUNSA to display your ignorance to all!
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